Are You the Parent of a Prodigal?

Years ago when my youngest (troubled) son was placed in a facility to get help (he was an unhealthy hazard to himself and others), I was sharing my heart with Amy Shreve (our harpist and friends that we traveled with for some radio rallies), the night after a concert here in I-Falls.  I was so grieved for this son who has had problems since fighting me in the womb, It is true! Too many heartaches and broken promises that he would straighten up go right and that all never amounted to success.  This mother's heart hurt so badly to see him fail time and time again.  Not to mention the stress it put on my marriage.  How easy it can be to place blame!  It's my fault, the father's fault, the stepfather's fault, everybody else's fault but no owning up to their own responsibility. Living the dysfunctional life I have lived only helped me take on unnecessary blame for a whole host of things that were only partially my fault.

I believe that we are only responsible for the situations that we directly cause and not the speculative ones (if only you...)  If I steal something, I am at fault, not the person who doesn't lock his door to keep a thief out.  If onlys are pure speculation but we can really let ourselves get buried underneath them if we are not wise (or shall I say walking in truth.)  Stuff happens, we make mistakes, acknowledge them, confess them and ask forgiveness of those we have wronged and move on.  How sad when we become buried under guilt and condemnation that really isn't ours to assume provided we have responded correctly like mentioned above. We can become overwhelmed with false guilt.

Prodigals can be used by God to help us look at the truth in our own situations.  Looking back I can now see that there are things that could have been handled differently and with a whole lot more unconditional love.  But then the child has a responsibility also.  They become runners. Runners from the truth, their pain and anything that gets uncomfortably close to their emotions. They need help to see that their poor choices are what they need to own up to.  I am responsible for my choices and my children for theirs, my spouse His, etc.  It is a dynamic that I just don't know how people without the Lord survive and many don't.

I have attached a link to an Oswald Chamber's reading for March 24.  This is what Amy came to show me the next morning when she had been praying for me and my prodigal.  It wasn't even March but she came upon it and shared it with me and it has had a very profound impact on my thinking.  You see dysfunctionality breeds false guilt which in most cases won't let the wrong assume their sorrows and pain that they find themselves in. He must increase... If God is sovereign and in control and I believe He is, then every thing, large and small is used by Him (He is fully aware of it's happening) to grow us up and closer to Him.  According to Chambers, we can become the very thing that gets in the way of our prodigal learning (yes the hard way) his lessons.  Some of us have to learn the hard way, I have.  If someone comes along to smooth out the situation instead of letting the circumstances being used to teach the lesson then that someone has interrupted the class and the lesson may be postponed until a later date and possibly a more severe situation.  The verse for that day is from John 3:30 and it is simple and profound, "He must increase, but I must decrease".  Get out of the way and let God be God and the Holy Spirit do what it is that He desires to do in a wandering soul's heart!  In modern day terms we would say quit being an enabler!  Friend, I have had to say this to myself over and over because that it what I was so used to doing to try and make things right and work!  But I was the one who continued to get in the way.

So I pray that we would not be in the way of the catylist that the Lord would use to work in the heart of that one who is walking contrary to God's ways.  

Father, I cautiously say, do it Lord, whatever it takes to break the heart of the wander so that they would look beyond themselves and see You!  I know You will give me the courage to believe that You hold his or her life in Your hands and that Your desire is to see them come to You and give them the peace they have been searching for.  I can even say "thank you" for the hard lessons that I have had to learn because You used them to bring me a bit closer to You each time.  I not only love You Lord, but I trust You and entrust my loved ones to You, in Jesus' Name!

What's Next Lord?

There are too many days when I feel as if I'm at a standstill.  Not going forward but I guess thankfully not going backward, just in that holding pattern.  This frustrates me and I tend to start thinking that I must do something to make something happen.  I am slowly learning that there is this fine balance between waiting on the Lord and pushing through.  If I am not certain of what's ahead then I best not be pushing through or I might end up where I don't want to be or involved in something that I am not ready to be involved in.  Yet on the other hand, if I make the effort to wait on the Lord, (very difficult for me) I will reap the harvest He has planned for me and those I am involved with.  

Isaiah 55:9 says it so well, ""For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts."  

Can I ponder all He has in store for me, probably not because my 'heavenly mindset' still has ties to this world.  I can dream but I really think He delights in my trusting Him enough to wait and prepare.  It is so hard for me to wait and that has always been an issue for me.  True confessions are that even as a kid, I had to peek at the presents hiding in the closet at Christmas time.  But waiting is like getting your favorite fruit before it is ripe.  If you break into it before it is fully ripened it isn't going to taste  like it would if you had waited for that fullness of flavor to develop and mature and wow, my mouth is watering as I think of a juicy pineapple.  They are so, so while still in the finishing stages of maturing but man when you get one that is fully matured, it is so wonderful and well worth the wait.

Simply stated, God has the big picture and I do not.  Yes, His ways are far surpassing ours although we have been given the mind of Christ we have a lot to learn about developing 'His thoughts." 

I have come to appreciate this verse in Proverbs 16:9 "A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps."  Let me make all the plans I can, if I could draw a picture of my day without putting the Lord in the mix it would be one squiggly mix of here and there and everywhere.  When I take the time to consult the "Planner" I will have a picture with much more direct routes to the goals and purposes He has set before me.  It just sounds so easy doesn't it?  But...let me place my heart's focus on the Lord and the ripening process that He has me in for this hour.  Indeed, what He allows to mature will be well worth the wait and preparation!

Father, here is another day to walk with You and in Your will. Let me take the journey a day at a time.  Will You help me to give my day and plans completely to You?  Let me lay down my agenda and pick up Yours so that my day will account for something worthwhile.  When the end of the day comes I want to breathe a sigh of goodness knowing that my efforts were all part of Your divine plan for me instead of looking back and wondering if I accomplish anything?  Thanks, Pappa that you are ultimately in control and although you will let me sputter around doing my own thing, while wasting a lot of that precious commodity called time, You will have Your way in my life.  Today, let me choose Your way, the higher way and I trust that You will use this good day to make a difference in my circle of influence, in Jesus' name.

Bearing One Another's Burdens

Today I am burdened for some people that I love and admire and really look to as friends that can help me to walk a deeper walk with my Father. 

Today I prayed that these friends would stand up to the enemy and tell him right where to go just like Jesus responded to Peter when he tried to rebuke Jesus who then responded "get thee behind me satan..." 

Today is just one of those days where I see the wearing down of the saints and my heart hurts when my circle of friends is hurting.

Today was a day of intercession for these ones who are battling on the front lines but getting very weary from battle wounds. 

Today I stood in the gap and and prayed that God would intervene before it is too late...

Today on the station I heard a profound statement from one of our feature vignettes who asked "Do you know why I am still married?" then responded "Only because of my fear of the Lord". 

Today, I wonder if I fear God enough to be obedient to His call on my life, in whatever capacity He calls me to.

Today, I really want to renew my covenant to the Lord that no matter how...no matter what...no matter why...I will be obedient...even if...this is hard because right now it is easy to say I would never but...when in the valley of darkness, the fiery trial, the pain and hurt, even if...would I hold on? Would I bite the bullet and hang in there? Despite the world view, the appearance of common sense, the pressures of those who have gone through and taken the plunge and suffered the consequences and are living with their decisions...

Today, I will take one day at a time. Today I am strong. Tomorrow I might be weak and I will need help to keep standing firm against all the odds. I just can't look too far ahead but will step one day at a time with my eyes as fixed as they can be and my heart steadfast and assured that Father loves me and will guide me into tomorrow where once again I will rise and take His hand as He guides me once more through the next day, then hopefully the next...

Tonight I go to bed weary from my burden but certain that God has heard the brokenness of my struggling friends and I can trust that He is near for His word tells me in Psalm 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I can rest...