Better Than a Hallelujah...

I spoke to a lovely group of ladies, where a  beautiful young lady was asked to do special music for the event.  I knew the song but never really paid much attention to it until that day, hearing it sweetly and gently sung by this precious woman.  I hadn't realized that some of the lyrics in the song really spoke of my story and my journey coming to Christ and delivering my marriage.  I just couldn't get the song out of my mind.  (Interesting how God really does put things together since she and I didn't even know each other!)

God has given me specific verses that I use to encapsulate my story of being a desperate young mom who had exhausted all her efforts to 'make life work' or 'make sense'.  Instead, all I kept doing was digging my hole deeper and deeper with every poor choice and mistake piling in upon me and weighing me down so that every attempt to climb out only felt like trying to pull myself out of quick sand.  I was being sucked in and frankly, I was just about at the place of letting go of all hope, figuring I would never find 'happiness' and I just wanted to give up.  But that was the place or point where God could finally do the work He had planned all along.

The chorus of the song that was sung by the beautiful guest was so fitting because I was there, I was a broken, miserable and pretty desperate mess of a woman, failing in all of my attempts to find happiness.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking heart,
Are better than a Hallelujah...

I am reminded of how patient our heavenly Father is with us.  He really does know that some of us have to bottom out not only once sometimes more times as we stubbornly keep trying to do things "our way" instead of pleading for help.  This only reminds me of how kind our Father truly is toward His wayward children.  Another line from the song:

The tears of shame for what's been done
The silence when the words won't come,
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

The verse that speaks so clearly of the day that Jesus rescued me from everthing that I had attempted to do on my own in an effort to find peace is from Psalm 40:1-3:

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.  He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.  He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD."

God, my Father, could have left me flailing, trying to continue in my useless efforts to get out of my self-made pit...but He didn't!  He heard the broken cries of one who finally let go of trying to "do it on her own"!  Instead  He knew I was truly ready to be plucked out.  

Here is Psalm 40:1-3 once again but from the Message paraphrase:

I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn't slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God.

My life has never been the same since the day I gave my broken Hallelujah to my God.  I am very encouraged to know that the heart song we sing never goes unnoticed by the Father!  He never turns His back on our cries.  Like the verses above read, He is patient in His waiting for us to finally say we can't do it on our own, or by ourselves!  Help, help me Lord...

Better Than A Hallelujah

Are you at that place today where a broken Hallelujah is all you can muster or where out of sheer desperation your heart is on the verge of failing and you just can't go another step on your own?  Oh my friend, God has been patiently waiting for this very moment when you would lay down your self-efforts and allow Him to 'bring you up', up out of your own miserable pit.  He is your rescuer, your deliverer and your present help in times of trouble.  I urge you to cry out to Him now, give Him your broken Hallelujah, He not only cares for you but He loves you and He won't turn His back on you!

Do I Have to Let Go?

Have you ever had to let go of something but believed that it just wasn't the right time, just not yet or maybe you never thought you would have to ever?  Back in the fall of 2009 my story was featured on the front page of Living Stones News, a fabulous newspaper filled with stories of faith, miracles and life-changing testimonies that included my own.  The stories proclaim the goodness of the Lord and the work He does in and through people's lives (and some of us have have been pulled through some pretty awful messes).   However, these were real life stories of God's redemption, encouragement for others to be able to see just what God is able to do in a person's life!

Almost a year after my story was published, Corinne Scott (she and her husband began this marvelous ministry) asked if I would be interested in having a monthly column in the paper since they recently lost one of their contributors.  I was overwhelmingly blessed by her request and accepted.  So for almost two years I have been contributing to this paper which went online last November.  It has been such a privilege to be connected to the world this way with a fabulous host of other writers and I have seen it as a gift from God to be part of this team.

At the end of August, we received word from Corinne that the Living Stones News would no longer be published for a variety of reasons.  Needless to say I was sorely disappointed to hear the news but understand that everything in life has seasons.  I was reminded of this bittersweet Scripture:

John 12:24 (ESV)  "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."

It is sort of crazy and somewhat of a paradox to think that something has to die to begin anew!  But it is true.  Every single seed that falls to the ground falls lifeless only to eventually sprout and bear fruit.  And some seeds have to endure intense pressure before they will be able to sprout new life!

The verse above in John reads like this in the Message paraphrase: "Listen carefully; Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat.  But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over."

What is it that you are holding on to that may need to fall to the ground?  For my friends at Living Stones News, well, god knows what might be stirring under the ground that may resurrect as a new thing that will be used to glorify Him in a fresh, new way.  And I myself have had to lay down hopes and dreams so that the Lord can have His way and rebuild what I have tried to do myself.  (Much like that dying to self' business!)


Don't be afraid to let go...trust His directing hand and know that when God begins something new that it may be for a time and a season, a specific purpose or use that will give Him glory! After all, Jesus Himself had to willingly die and because He did, we who identify with His death and resurrection now live.  

Finally, it is fall and every thing around my neck of the woods has mostly drained of color and appears dead...until spring that is!

What Does Sin Look Like?

When I walk my little girl in the woods, most days are filled with appreciation of God's creation.  Many times He reveals truth through what I see giving me spiritual insights through my visual observations.  When I remember to do so, I like to take my camera with me to capture various interesting creatures, plants, etc.

One day I was captivated by all the varying types of fungus that grows on seemingly alive and dead trees on our property.  These come in a wide variety of shapes and colors and according to my Google search there are different types but the ones on my trees are fungal and require a 'host' to grow.  In otherwords they can drain the host for their own survival.   There many shapes and sizes and some are just fascinating even attractive in some cases like the petticoat or lacy look at the bottom of one tree.   But interestingly enough, when they die off, they shrivel up and get nasty black, slimy and become very yucky looking.  There is nothing attractive about them at all.  And in a lot of cases their host begins to look unhealthy and may even die off.  Maybe they even reveal an unhealthy interior in some cases? 

In one of the pictures I felt God showing me how this is like sin.  We can become captivated by what looks to be something not only satisfying but lovely, exciting, attractive, delicious, and yes, alluring.  The word alluring, really says it well, to attract or tempt by something flattering or desireable.  And the word seduce is also a good descriptive of anything that captures and lures us from where we are in a disingenuous manner, to cause us harm.

In the Scriptures it talks about being enticed and seduced by sin and its results when it is allowed to have its way in our thinking and actions.  James 1:14,15 says, "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death."

It is indeed an unfortunate thing that we allow ourselves to be tempted and swayed by our 'natural' desires instead of using the weapons of warfare--God given in Christ Jesus--to win the battle of temptation in our everyday world.  The lure is there everyday and everywhere, it pulls and tugs for us to obey in a sense demanding our attention where instead we might choose to focus on the tools God has given us to win the war against sin.  Sometimes, even daily, it can be exhausting, however on the other side of the battle is the peace that is ours when we make right choices.  

I like the way the Message paraphrase puts Proverbs 2:6-8 "And here's why: God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding. He's a rich mine of Common Sense for those who live well, a personal bodyguard to the candid and sincere. He keeps his eye on all who live honestly, and pays special attention to his loyally committed ones."

God's word reminds us that we will be tempted!  But He also shows us the benefits of making the right choice, telling our minds the truth about the temptation.  If it is only going to bring a momentary burst of enjoyment then give way to a not so pleasant outcome then why not refuse to indulge in it?  My biggest struggle is with food and I can really apply this to what I allow to pass from my hands to my mouth.  And it isn't very often that I win the battle once the temptation is in hand so to speak.  But that is my struggle.  For you it might be something different.  But the bottom line is that we have the freedom to make the right choice or decision every time we are faced with temptation.  Mentally frisking--if you will--by putting it to through the Philippians 4:8 test is a big help when we take the time to ask ourselves if it is "...true...honorable...just...pure...lovely...commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise..."

The war is played out in the mind, and today like every day we have all we need to be victorious! How is it going for you today?  Take a moment right now to reflect upon the Scripture in Philippians above that ends with "...think about these things" and you will see that the battle really does belong to the Lord!