Are You the Parent of a Prodigal?

Years ago when my youngest (troubled) son was placed in a facility to get help (he was an unhealthy hazard to himself and others), I was sharing my heart with Amy Shreve (our harpist and friends that we traveled with for some radio rallies), the night after a concert here in I-Falls.  I was so grieved for this son who has had problems since fighting me in the womb, It is true! Too many heartaches and broken promises that he would straighten up go right and that all never amounted to success.  This mother's heart hurt so badly to see him fail time and time again.  Not to mention the stress it put on my marriage.  How easy it can be to place blame!  It's my fault, the father's fault, the stepfather's fault, everybody else's fault but no owning up to their own responsibility. Living the dysfunctional life I have lived only helped me take on unnecessary blame for a whole host of things that were only partially my fault.

I believe that we are only responsible for the situations that we directly cause and not the speculative ones (if only you...)  If I steal something, I am at fault, not the person who doesn't lock his door to keep a thief out.  If onlys are pure speculation but we can really let ourselves get buried underneath them if we are not wise (or shall I say walking in truth.)  Stuff happens, we make mistakes, acknowledge them, confess them and ask forgiveness of those we have wronged and move on.  How sad when we become buried under guilt and condemnation that really isn't ours to assume provided we have responded correctly like mentioned above. We can become overwhelmed with false guilt.

Prodigals can be used by God to help us look at the truth in our own situations.  Looking back I can now see that there are things that could have been handled differently and with a whole lot more unconditional love.  But then the child has a responsibility also.  They become runners. Runners from the truth, their pain and anything that gets uncomfortably close to their emotions. They need help to see that their poor choices are what they need to own up to.  I am responsible for my choices and my children for theirs, my spouse His, etc.  It is a dynamic that I just don't know how people without the Lord survive and many don't.

I have attached a link to an Oswald Chamber's reading for March 24.  This is what Amy came to show me the next morning when she had been praying for me and my prodigal.  It wasn't even March but she came upon it and shared it with me and it has had a very profound impact on my thinking.  You see dysfunctionality breeds false guilt which in most cases won't let the wrong assume their sorrows and pain that they find themselves in. He must increase... If God is sovereign and in control and I believe He is, then every thing, large and small is used by Him (He is fully aware of it's happening) to grow us up and closer to Him.  According to Chambers, we can become the very thing that gets in the way of our prodigal learning (yes the hard way) his lessons.  Some of us have to learn the hard way, I have.  If someone comes along to smooth out the situation instead of letting the circumstances being used to teach the lesson then that someone has interrupted the class and the lesson may be postponed until a later date and possibly a more severe situation.  The verse for that day is from John 3:30 and it is simple and profound, "He must increase, but I must decrease".  Get out of the way and let God be God and the Holy Spirit do what it is that He desires to do in a wandering soul's heart!  In modern day terms we would say quit being an enabler!  Friend, I have had to say this to myself over and over because that it what I was so used to doing to try and make things right and work!  But I was the one who continued to get in the way.

So I pray that we would not be in the way of the catylist that the Lord would use to work in the heart of that one who is walking contrary to God's ways.  

Father, I cautiously say, do it Lord, whatever it takes to break the heart of the wander so that they would look beyond themselves and see You!  I know You will give me the courage to believe that You hold his or her life in Your hands and that Your desire is to see them come to You and give them the peace they have been searching for.  I can even say "thank you" for the hard lessons that I have had to learn because You used them to bring me a bit closer to You each time.  I not only love You Lord, but I trust You and entrust my loved ones to You, in Jesus' Name!

How's the New Year's Resolution Going for You?

It is so funny how we look for a starting place to invoke change. I do not believe that most of us just wake up on a day and say I am going to quit this or that. Or, I am going to quit my job and start a business of my own (you fill in the scenario.)  Now if I am wrong let me hear from you! For most of us, change or the desire for change comes to somehow better our circumstances. We ponder what it is we desire to change for a time, and sometimes it is just a bad habit or a plaguing issue that we desire to be rid of, non-the-less it is still change.

The New Year is always a great way to jumpstart your planned changes. It might be to start a diet and exercise program. These are common resolutions. But, if you are like most people after a few weeks or say a month with no real visible change occurring, you just get frustrated and, well, quit. I think I have done this myself a gazillion times! Shoot off the starting line and fizzle out after a few weeks because of discouragement and then give it up. What is up with that?

Well this is my approach to the resolution thing. I have decided I will resolve to do something right every day. And yes, I do have some goals.

• Being in the Word daily
• Cultivating a thankful heart
• Watching my consumption a bit closer
• Taking my supplements
• Exercising
• Being Kind

This is quite simple, if I get nothing else done but my daily Bible reading, then I have done one right thing in my day. I get to count walking the dog as my exercise and we can go a mile or more either walking out side and or on the treadmill. Suffice it to say that this would make for two right things in my day. Should I remember to take my supplements before I go to work then I can add another right thing to my day. Although I really don’t like to take supplements, I know that they are good for me and do help me to feel better.

As for the diet thing, I wrestle with sweets/carb consumption. I know how detrimental sweets or too many carbs are for me and this can pose as one of my most difficult challenges. I have found that some days I can forgo the sweets and then there are other days I cannot get enough of them! So on the days when I can ignore sweets then I can add another right thing to my day.

This verse in 1 Corinthians 6:19, 20 is such a convicting verse for me when it comes to dieting.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.”

Do you ever look at rude people and think how selfish and unaware they are of others around them? I am certain that we can all be that way at times but I do not want that to be how people see me. Therefore I have included on my list to work at being kind. There are so many folks that just need a kind word spoken into them. And who is to say that the word of encouragement would be used to change the course of that person’s day by just being kind to them? I can sometimes snap at my spouse and then wonder why he won't communicate with me, why would he? So now I try to remember to ask the Holy Spirit to show me how to speak kindness to my husband.

In Proverbs 12:25 (NIV) it says

“An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”

And in Proverbs 25:11 (NKJ)

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

Then there is often the opportunity to engage in (or initiate) talk that is not positive about another person. Because I am making the choice to do “right things” I can now consciously make the decision not to go there. There is indeed much to be said for being kind. And by doing so I can then add another “right thing” to my day.

So as I begin my day I am asking the Lord for the courage to do “right things” everyday and as many as I can. You know, even if it was only one or two “right things”, I am progressing and feeling better about a heightened level of awareness as I go about my days, weeks and months to come! I hope this might help you with your resolutions if you too easily fizzle out after a few weeks into the new year!

Father, I confess the trap of not finishing what I start out to do. I have made hundreds of resolutions and gone bad on them time and time again. I am thanking You for shedding a new light on this for my new year! Holy Spirit, will You heighten my awareness and conviction so that I will desire to continue to do as many “right things” as I can. Let this alter not only my perspective but also the lives of those that I come in contact with for Christ’s sake!

You are Ready for Spring Aren't You?

Evening of April 25th

Well friends, winter is dealt another blow. It was April 25th and another spring snow storm promising to deliver 6" - 15" so say the meteorologists.  Argh...I had crocuses already blooming and they were going to be covered with a blanket of snow the next morning. On top of that, we ended up postponing a trip to Bemidji to see the grandsons. How discouraging it is when our plans don't work out.

I have this Scripture taped in main control at work that says:

"The Mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps" Proverbs 16:9 (NASB)

It seems that there a couple of ways to look at that verse with one having a negative slant and the other quite a positive directive. The application for me is in understanding that my default is to always run ahead of God and make all my plans without consulting my Father. Well, you know how frustrating that can be when the plans don't work out the way you thought they should have. I think of those poor little crocuses that have opened their pretty little heads to show some of the first colors of spring to us and then wham, they get hit with six inches of snow. Somehow I'm guessing, this probably inhibits their growth and reproduction.  And when I tie that in with going ahead of God like I do so often, I wonder just how much am I set back from my growth by not praying and seeking the Father's will before I lunge ahead and move out? 

How do you like this verse in Proverbs:

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord, it will stand" Proverbs 19:21 (NASB)

The counsel of the Lord will stand. Hmmm...counsel of the Lord, Etsah in Hebrew, meaning advice; consultation; purpose, project, plan, design; wisdom, deliberation. Wow, do I consult with my Father as I make my plans? Almost always, not. Do I seek out His purpose before I run out the door, make the phone call or plan the trip? Of course not, especially if it is just everyday living type of stuff. But this is my challenge and this is what God is trying to teach this girl. How much better to seek God in the morning as I begin to plan my day or whatever it is that I have going on than to do things at random and on a whim.  Now I just looked up the meaning of whim in Websters Dictionary and the meaning is a bit odd and not nearly as fun as I always though of it being as when we us it in its adjective form, whimsical. So the first meaning of this noun is: a freakish pattern of ideas and their associated emotions as a motive of action. I am thinking that this is not the best laid plan for myself or anyone who desires to live a Spirit-filled and controlled life. Why do I want to act on emotions based on freakish ideas? In essence that is what I'm doing by missing out on God's best for my daily living when I forsake my time with Him as I plan my 'whatever.'

By the way, on Saturday morning, April 26, 2008, the snow had (thus far) produced slick roads with a dump of about 6+ inches on top. Good thing my husband didn't put that snow blower away for the spring! There are all these tiny, little spring birds flitting around trying to find fall's leftovers that are now covered in several inches of snow. And the worse part is that the snow was expected to continue for several more hours and the temperature was only 23 degrees with a wind chill making it feel like only 10! What's up with that at the end of April? And just to let you know that this was the third snowstorm in northern Minnesota in the month of April! The other two deposited anywhere from a couple to 30+ inches of wet sloppy snow in some areas of the northland on the first and second weekends of the month. I'll bet you are glad you don't live here. But if you do, we just say, "Well, that's northern Minnesota! You never know what you are going to get."


The bottom line for me is that I need to quit running ahead of God, and slide into His plans for my days.  So much easier said than done especially if that is the way you've done it thus far. Those old habits are so hard to break but God has amazing things to say about the man who indeed walks in God's ways like this:

"The steps of a mans are established by the Lord; and He delights in his way.
When he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong; because the Lord i the One who holds his hand."
Psalm 37:23, 24

The crocuses managed to endure unscathed for the most part!

You have to love that! God delights in my ways when I walk in His will. A dear friend told me not to be too hard on myself for we are all in a process and indeed we are. But I truly want to be a woman who is bent on walking in God's plans for my life. And the best part is that when I am led by the Spirit then I walk in love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The fruit produced by being Spirit-led. I will share on that another time.

"Father, I sure frustrate myself time and time again when my best laid plans go awry! How frustrating because I am so convinced that I have laid them perfectly yet without Your approval and consultation, I miss the cracks and weaknesses that can literally trip me up. I am humbly asking, Father, for You to help me come to You the first thing with my days and events, allowing You to shape and mold them as You do when I ask. Even more importantly though is to help me to wait and listen for Your reply when I do ask for Your direction. I am tired of being in a hurry, rushing out the door without Your approval and then asking why when things get weird. I pay dearly every time I do that. Thank You that You are so concerned with my little life that You will show me the way when I ask. You truly are an amazing Abba God, Amen"